Hereward Pub – Why All The Controversy?

Image: The Hereward Pub

There’s The Cutter Inn, The Fenman Bar, The Fountain, The Kings Arms, The Minster Tavern, The Prince Albert, The Royal Standard, The Town House, Deans, Pure, Bar Zest and the West End in Ely – forgive me if I’ve forgotten anyone.
And do any of these pubs or clubs admit children on a regular basis? And do we really need these pubs or clubs to admit children on a regular basis? It begs the question then why all the controversy over the new Hereward Pub and its over 18’s only policy?

There’s the Maltings, the Almonry, the Steeplegate, the Lamb Hotel, the Stagecoach, The Boathouse, Spice City, Pang’s Lodge and the Old Fire Engine House (and I see soon a Starbucks) who do allow children – some even offering a child-friendly menu.
Alternatively, should a parent not be satisfied with that mixed bag of eateries, they could always throw caution to the wind and venture out a little further to the Burger King or Little Chef just off the roundabout – now they’re child-friendly atmospheres!

Finally a place to go in Ely where screaming, unruly brats aren’t making you wish you’d stayed at home!

So isn’t it just a tad sad when some local folk have nothing better to do than whine and complain just because they’ve been asked to take junior someplace more suitable to their requirements? I mean, what kind of parent thinks it’s unfair for their child to be excluded from a pub anyway?
Honestly, this latest show of nonsensical nit-picking is similar to the recent controversy on the east coast of America where a few local women objected to an all-male club that’s sole purpose was to enjoy male pursuits without the distraction of women. Hell, these guys didn’t even employ pole-dancers – now there’s some serious male bonding going on, huh?
So what do these paragons of women’s rights do…? They protest, campaign, bitch that they were being unfairly discriminated against and encouraged a boycott (that was an unfortunate choice of coercion too since the men didn’t want female company in the first place and the televised fracas alerted previously unaware chaps and managed to rally even more support for the testosterone fellowship).
Now, any woman worth her weight in weight-watchers soup should have known better than to throw down the gauntlet where this sort of issue was at stake. Especially since most of their husbands were the founding members of the club!
Not only did the women not “get in”?, in the end they had no choice but to resort to forming their own group that excluded all male members. So, neener, neener, neener!
Umm … not wishing to state the obvious here but wasn’t that kinda the point in the first place? And far be it from me to poke fun but there’s nothing sadder than overweight, undervalued, bored women gathering together to demand attention from men only to be made to go away and play nicely by themselves! This, if I’m not mistaken, might have been why their husbands formed the club in the first place.
Much like the unhappy few who want all pubs open to children – all they’ve done by carping on about not being allowed to let their offspring sup ale in the afternoon is call attention to the fact that there is finally a place to go in Ely where screaming, unruly brats aren’t making you wish you’d stayed at home! Good on ya mothers!

What is it about a bog-eyed creature that charms otherwise sane people into spending money on it? What is it about stupidity that appeals to educated folk?

Image: The Annoying Thing

The omnipotent, annoying, infuriating, maddening, irksome ring tones (such as the insane toad currently on every channel, every five seconds) makes me want to do some research into how high a building has to be in order to ensure a fatal leap.
And the fact that the frikin frog has been number one in the singles chart for over two weeks is enough to make me want to immigrate to the outer regions of Mongolia.
What is it about a bog-eyed creature that charms otherwise sane people into spending money on it? What is it about stupidity that appeals to educated folk?
Isn’t it bad enough that television audiences are dumbed down by Big brother, Love Island, z-list celebrities and their bonk-fest escapades without having to sink even lower?
I mean, I fear we’re being brainwashed. Because there’s really no other excuse for the constant onslaught of talentless nobodies showing off for the camera or a motorcycle riding frog and its tedious tune with its offending “private parts”? blacked out. I fear we’re being force-fed a menu of idiocy until we find it entertaining – you know, because there’s money to be made from brainwashed dopes!
And let’s be honest, if the ad people were really all that worried about offending us, they’d have blacked out the entire commercial, not just the animated frog penis!

I won’t contribute to pointless causes. And the plight in Africa, I fear, is beyond the “ordinary man”?. This is a job for governments – should we ever get one with the balls enough to do the work!

Image: Bob Geldof

… Speaking of pointlessness, don’t even get me started on the latest excuse for aging rockers to prance around on stage in their sagging skins to even saggier ditties using the plight in Africa as their reason for rehashing old material. I mean, it’s pretty bad when you have to bribe the punters with saving someone’s life in order to get your old stock sold!
And unfortunately, if Live 8 goes the way of the Live Aid, Band Aid or Band Wagon concerts of yore, it follows that every twenty years or so we’ll have to endure another performance of wrinklies, bad boy bands and Mariah Carry and her overexposed and surgically enhanced ego – without ever having saved so much as a hungry native.
I won’t contribute to pointless causes. And the plight in Africa, I fear, is beyond the “ordinary man”?. This is a job for governments – should we ever get one with the balls enough to do the work!
But I’d pay pretty good money to have Sir Bob, Sir Paul or Sir Elton stage a retirement extravaganza. By the way, does anyone else find it odd that these dopers were honoured by the Queen for their services to music? I mean, can they even remember their services to music; such was their state of drug-induced haze during their “careers”??
Now, if the old farts wanted money to stop signing, under no circumstances ever sing again, never foist their singing on us ever again, Oh yeah, I’d be there with bells on!!!

5 replies
  1. David
    David says:

    About the new ely pub – I agree, people seem to think that it’s all the pubs fault for anything that goes wrong in Ely. There is a number of people who seem to think that this pub is going to increase binge drinking. Oh please – People who want to get drunk promote binge drinking. All these people who complain – it makes it sound like they’ve never been drunk before in their lives. My friend got a job there and is getting paid much more than his previous employment, another chain store in Ely.

    It seems like people in Ely don’t like change – and therefore don’t like the real world.

  2. Lee
    Lee says:

    Quite agree, what a fuss… I was dissapointed that on the opening week I was unable to enjoy their special offer on a bottle of wine. Why? Because apparently the council’s licensing officer had insisted they remove such offers through fear of promoting binge drinking! Please.

    Fear not I still managed to have a relaxing and hard earnt drink and guess what, I made it home safely without being violent, wearing a hood or vandalising the town centre.

    The council needs to grow up, it can’t penalise Ely’s growing young professional population because of the fear of a handful of burks spoiling the party.

    Great new web site by the way, keep up the content and perhaps advertise it (through a free article) in the local papers.

  3. Kurt
    Kurt says:

    I highly recommend the Thai red Curry!

    I dont care how it is made, even if it’s just heated up…It’s amazing!!

  4. Rose LindBlad
    Rose LindBlad says:

    I was a visitor to the Ely area for a week and it was nice to have a place where one could go have a pint and a bite to eat and feel safe and welcome. Last Sunday nights Karaoke with my mates was fun too.

    Loved the Sticky Toffee Pudding the manager and staff were great and made us all feel welcome.

    Say Hello to Simon and his mates.

    Thanks for a great week.

    RL

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