This week I grumble about the governmentâ€™s illogical version of a store card and the fact that mobile phones are becoming so technical that soon youâ€™ll need a pilots license just to phone home …
Free ID card with every purchase
I would like to start my campaign here and now â€¦ I would like to start my campaign by declaring most emphatically that I will not be purchasing the much considered, tossed around and debated ID card the government are presently trying to persuade us will end national crime, asylum abuse and world hunger as we know it. And I will continue my campaign until someone, somewhere sees sense!
Now, give the useless piece of plastic to me for free and I might just cooperate. For it will be no different than the multitude of loyalty cards littering my purse.
If President Tony and his motley crew want mandatory surveillance they can damn well find the funds within their meagre billion pound budget to pay for it.
I mean, letâ€™s be honest, whatâ€™s the difference between Tescoâ€™s monitoring every product Iâ€™ve purchased over the last three years with their flexible friend, the surveillance card, or the government forcing me to carry (and pay for) a certificate containing every detail pertaining to my very person that can fit on a microchip? I donâ€™t fear the ID card, I have nothing to hide. But if President Tony and his motley crew want mandatory surveillance they can damn well find the funds within their meagre billion pound budget to pay for it. And if they canâ€™t, then theyâ€™ll just have to do what the rest of us do when we canâ€™t afford something â€¦ cut back and save up!
Technology Geek, not!
I am an old curmudgeon when it comes to technology. I refuse to jump on a band wagon simply because the manufacturer has created a demand for an item by over-hyped advertisement. And especially when my older appliance is still in perfect working order – a little grubby perhaps, but still working, a little sluggish maybe, but still working!
Only when my conventional item has well and truly bit the dust and a replacement is no longer available (mostly because the dinosaurs producing it have all died) do I concede defeat and buy the modern equivalent!
It took me years before I willingly nuked my food with a microwave.
It took me years before I willingly nuked my food with a microwave. It took me even longer to forgo the reliable cassette tape and slowly replace my collection with CDs. I still donâ€™t know how to burn, rip or customise (anything).
Well, thatâ€™s not entirely true. Last week I managed to download Karlâ€™s “Another Late Night ” mix tape from the Ely web site but only because Karlâ€™s instructions were rudimentary, â€œclick here to downloadï¿½?, was about the extent of it. Left to my own devices I probably would have wiped out my entire hard drive â€¦ whatever that is!
I was finally forced, kicking and screaming to abandon my trusty typewriter when the word processor took over the world â€“ and only after I was unable to type words using the G, H, J, K and L keys!
But the latest craze for a camera-friendly, voice activated, ring-tone playing, internet capable, movie showing, video taking, text sending, game playing telephone has me completely at a loss. What, no personal masseuse?
The games have got to be the most absurd feature, though. Honestly, I admit my opposable thumbs have seen better days but how or why playing knots and crosses on a 1inch x 1inch panel is entertaining is beyond me. And why we need to carry such tackle with us wherever we go is even further beyond me.
Besides, these over-valued, all-singing, all-dancing gizmos no more hit the High Street before theyâ€™re outdated and damn near obsolete! By the time youâ€™ve afforded your handheld NASA apparatus, the next model is out and making you look like a fool for holding on to your ancient, six month old version.
No, all said and done, I think Iâ€™ll just wait for this latest phase to pass me by. Iâ€™m satisfied to wait until my basic telephone-only variety irrefutably expires.
Hell, only last week I discovered the calculator feature! Who needs upgrading when youâ€™ve got that luxury, huh?