Absolutely Quackers – ECDC To Suffocate Ducks

Image: Muscovy chick

In a move that King Herod would be proud of, East Cambridgeshire District Council plans to suck the life out of Ely’s newly laid Muscovy duck eggs before the cute little chicks hatch by oiling eggs (meaning dip them into paraffin). ECDC have, apparently, received many complaints about the number of Muscovy ducks in Ely.

Environmental health officer, Claire Finlayson, said:’ There has been a massive increase in the duck population in Ely and therefore an increase in fouling. ‘The last two winters have been mild and this has brought about a duck breeding bonanza,’

In contradiction to the council’s view, many residents of Ely are actually quite fond of the ducks. Michael Tuck, of Annesdale, said he had lived with the ducks for 30 years and said he did not think they were a nuisance and for many young children it is a draw to Ely’s waterside to feed the ducks.

Conspiracy theories are rife that ECDC were to wring the necks of the mature ducks in a midnight operation without alerting residents, a rumor that has been strenuously denied by ECDC. ‘We all love to see the ducks in Ely’ a spokesperson quacked.

You can shop a duck nesting in a garden by contacting the council on 01353 616284, If you can live by your actions!

6 replies
  1. Steph and Leanne (coecc)
    Steph and Leanne (coecc) says:

    We are doing an IT project on the ducks in Ely as we feel that they are a something that makes Ely different from all the other nearby towns!! Our research shows that people around Ely, that enjoy walking by the river, will miss the ducks if they go as they feel that they are a quality and not a hinderence to Ely!!

    Leanne and Steph x.x.x

  2. Mary McGuire
    Mary McGuire says:

    Putting aside the ethical questions…. I thought they were culling ducks because they were spreading off the river into other parts of the city. Maybe I’m wrong but if this is true, they’ve culled the wrong ducks! The ones in and around the city are still there, it’s only on the actual river, where numbers have reduced.

  3. Leonie
    Leonie says:

    The ECDC are nothing more than murderes, we went to Ely the other day and there was hardly any ducks about, the way it was put in the paper and on the news I expected to be tripping over them at every turn.

    Muscovys are very missunderstood ducks thay are friendly and wag there tails as a dog would, the huffing noises thay make is there way of talking and when they seem to be pecking at us its their way of trying to play and they don’t realise that it hurts some times.

    We have several male, female and baby ducks in our garden and we love them.

  4. Sara Spillett
    Sara Spillett says:

    I am just so sick of hearing about hearing about ‘wildlife culls’!

    Why can’t we just leave them alone… each species can balance itself without our interference.

    Just look at our own track record. We have overpopulated the majority of this world, and pushed other species to the point of extinction in doing so.

    WE are the only species who don’t have ‘self control’.

    WE are the only species who don’t adapt to our environment and it’s available resources… instead we push it to it’s very limit and then back again.

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