This weekâ€™s articles cover everything from the Olympics to McDonalds â€¦ and fear not, I even managed to get in another dig at the government!
Big Guns Out For the Weapons of Mass Olympics
You know, I donâ€™t mean to dwell on the subject of our inept government and itâ€™s Olympic enthusiasm, but â€¦ does anyone else get the impression that President Tony believes securing the Olympic Games for London in 2012 is akin to winning the war in Iraq, finding the weapons of mass destruction, tracking down Osama, Usama, whatever! Bin Laden or even tracking down so much as Osama, Usama, whatever! Bin Ladenâ€™s hideaway? Is it me or is he spending an inordinate amount of time campaigning for such a pedestrian cause?
And I donâ€™t know about the public being as excited as the Pres is to host the sporting event as described in news reports (although, to be fair, I canâ€™t think of any sporting event that would stimulate that level of excitement from me). Because Iâ€™ve never spoken to a single soul whoâ€™s living for the moment when all amateur sportspersons come to our part of the world and run, jump or throw things!
So does that mean the costly facelift still goes ahead even if we lose the bid?
One could also argue that if thereâ€™s money available to improve communications, transportation and road and rail networks in London to accommodate the Olympics, then there are obviously funds lying about to improve the inferior roads and rail networks, transportation â€“ not to mention, suspend congestion charges â€“ with or without the Games! So does that mean the costly facelift still goes ahead even if we lose the bid?
Iâ€™m Just saying â€¦
â€¦ And speaking of an inept government (I promise, this is the last reference. No, really!) Iâ€™d like to mention that the head count supporting the ID card fiasco is dwindling. The figures show that an independent study by the London School of Economics, (which has been dismissed by the Home Office) have 10% saying Yes, and 81% saying No. Ya gotta love the London School of Economics, huh?
And this is despite it only being week two of my campaign and even though Iâ€™ve done absolutely nothing besides bitch about the idea of a compulsory ID card. Itâ€™s enough to make me think common sense will out!!!
The Ultimate Excuse
I love absurd scientific reports. And none more so than when they are this absurd. I should declare now though that I am not medically trained, therefore I am willing to concede to those who are. Of course, you have to question the medical training of someone who comes up with this clanger:
â€œTaking regular showers could pose a health risk and even result in permanent brain damage.â€?
â€œScientists believe that breathing in small amounts of manganese dissolved in the water may harm the nervous system. The damage may occur even at levels of the naturally occurring metal normally considered safe, say the United States researchers.â€?
I had to stop eating at McDonalds due to the risk of super sizing my McButt.
Didnâ€™t you just know the researchers had to be American? Anyway, the number of studies â€œoutingâ€? everyday activities and household products as harmful is adding up.
It was bad enough that I had to stop eating at McDonalds due to the risk of super sizing my McButt. And the report that anti-bacterial hand wash is hazardous just seemed outrageous â€“ but I gave it up too. As I did aerosols (hair spray, room deodorizers and deodorant, to name just a few), foaming agents (toothpaste, shampoo face wash and the likes) and fabrics that are labeled “wrinkle-resistant” because they are usually treated with formaldehyde resin.
However, this particular study could come in handy. For it certainly gives us a sure-fire excuse for failing exams, turning up late for work, forgetting to run an errand for a loved one or even missing deadlines.
I can just hear me explaining to the editor â€¦
Sorry Karl, my article would have been in on time but I took a shower and the next thing I know, Iâ€™m somewhere in London, wandering around the shops like a â€¦ like a â€¦ like a shopper! I donâ€™t know what came over me.
And arenâ€™t baths just as risky â€“ if not riskier? I mean, if standing in a shower can cause you to go insane, surely itâ€™s even worse to be submerged up to the midriff in such mind-altering chemicals!
However, alarming as it may be, such news could throw a little light on the current state of affairs. It might just explain why the likes of Tony Blair and George W Bush weâ€™re re-elected! I wonder if itâ€™s possible to go back and interview voters to see if they showered before they cast their votes. Ok, so sue me â€¦ I mentioned the government again!